PDA & Tidying

Content by @DanPalmz✖

Dan Palmer

Blogger | Admin

PDAer, husband, father, maker, geek.

Mess and clutter. I have a weird relationship with this topic.

I’ve never been a particularly tidy person. I always have multiple projects in various stages of completion so there’s always been clutter - but now I also have four young children who leave food/dishes/clothing in every room of the house! I’d never really been concerned about my clutter until I found I couldn’t keep a single room tidy - and that messed with my need for order and control over my life.

So while tidying can be one of those tasks that I need to avoid, recently I’ve discovered that it is the key to unlocking my productivity.

My Morning Routine Autopilot - Small Wins to start the day

My first step when I get up (apart from to turn on the kettle) is to unstack the dishwasher. My brain generally isn’t functioning yet, but unstacking the dishwasher is an easy win!

Everything pretty much has a home that it lives in, it doesn’t require much thought or decision making.. (particularly as I’m overly analytical when stacking the dishwasher and have everything nicely organised). I normally finish this process and I’m feeling somewhat “better” (both the coffee kicking in and I’m feeling in control of my environment).

I’ve got up, I’ve got moving and I’ve done something productive - and I’ve only been up 10 minutes!

Now I’m ready to tackle a bigger ready to tackle the next job.. Stacking the dishwasher.. This is ideal because now I have a job where I can problem solve.. As I already mentioned I like to organise everything just so.. The cutlery goes into the cutlery basket with all similar types grouped together - making it easier for me to put them away later.. All the plates of the same type are together to minimise the amount of reorganising needed when taking things out.. (Are you noticing a theme here?). I often rearrange dishes that I’ve already stacked when I discover a friend who has been left out.

In the end - I’ve completed another job, I’ve helped tidy my kitchen & I’ve done some minor problem solving. And all the dishes and cutlery are where they should be, with their closest matching neighbours so I can find them in the dark without thinking (and getting annoyed about them being out of place!)

All in all I function much better when I am in a less messy environment. Being surrounded by mess makes me feel claustrophobic and less likely to be able to start any jobs.

Tips for the supporters of PDAers (family, etc)

If you know something like having a clean environment makes it easier for your PDAer to get moving - why don’t you make a start just “organising the mess”?

If I’ve had a day or two where I’m not up to keeping up with the mess - having someone just organise it to make it an easier job to start (putting all the plates or bowls together in piles for example) will make it much easier for me to get started.
I can still clean it my way but I can feel like someone has been helping me so I can do the next step to help them!

It’s not just about tidying

This simple morning routine isn’t just about having a tidy house. It’s as much about the small wins along the way that get me motivated for the day. Routines don’t often work for us PDAers so it’s not something I pressure myself to do - it’s just something that happens naturally as I’m waiting for the kettle to boil and to make coffee.. Your routine might be as simple as feeding the cat (and fish, guinea pigs, birds and axolotl) or brushing your hair or journalling.

It’s something that you do and have control over and it is something you can be proud of! To non-PDAers that may seem silly but you and I know there are days where the thought of doing ANYTHING is debilitating. If you can do even the SIMPLE jobs - you can count it as a win! They don’t always feel simple so don’t write them off like they are.. You are up, you’re moving and you’re getting things done..

The more often you can do that, the more in control of your life you feel and that is one of the keys to living with PDA!

Partners perspective (ADHD)

Mess? What mess? I have lived my slightly chaotic life without paying much attention to the mess around me. I clean when I need to (someone coming to visit, getting organised before I can start another task, or randomly at midnight when I’m bored). Sure tidy is nice but it doesn’t really change anything for me. However, knowing how a tidy house impacted the mental health of hubby gave me a more tangible reason to make more of an effort to keep things more tidy. (note: more = still working towards).

We have always had a low expectation household - if it bothers you, feel free to tidy. Don’t complain about what someone else hasn’t done. Now there is an extra layer of “help out someone else if you can”. For me, this means gather the plates from around the house and stack them in the sink. Personally it took me a while to understand the value of stacking plates - surely you may as well just do them, but for me in my all or nothing brain it works, however, for hubby me starting a task gives him the nudge to finish it.

I will never live in a tidy house, but a few systems in place and it’s a bit more calm for everyone.

Things I do:

• Ask if kids want to help me with a task (“I’m unloading the dishwasher, anyone want to help?“)
• Whenever I leave a room try to take something with me and return it to the right room.
• Not feel guilty when I don’t clean up.
• Do it when I see it (clean, wash, fix, put away)

Talk about it - talk about the jobs you like and the jobs you don’t (or parts thereof). It’s not one persons responsibility. With the kids, I don’t expect them to help out but I would like them to know how to maintain a place that you like to live in. (Hopefully there will be a post about this sometime.)